is it hard to make friends in college

When you join college, the first scenario that welcomes you to the learning environment is a large number of students. It is usually the case in most universities, save the few private and exclusive ones that may boast of a small student number.

The dense population makes the campus setting an interactive environment, and it is an expectation for everyone to make friends before they clear their studies. However, the statement does not ring true to every student. Here we are focusing on shy students, most of whom prefer their own company. Despite a large number of students, the shy ones may complete their studies without having made friends.

Such a situation begs the question, is it hard to make friends in college? The question is heavily dependent on your personality type aside from the shyness characteristic. If you are an introvert, it means you love your own company; hence being social and making friends is far from your priorities.

people sitting on grass

So how do you go making friends in college or instead service the environment if you are shy? Stick on as we go through practical tips to help you make it through as a shy student.

  • Know Your Personality Type And Appreciate It

When it comes to personality types with socialization being the subject of focus, we have three types. These are introverts, extroverts, and in between, we have the ambiverts. As an introverted person, you love keeping to yourself and maybe a couple of friends. Socializing is not an issue, but you love your personal space.   

Extroverts, on the other hand, are the social type, and they love to get chatty with others when the opportunity presents itself. They derive their energy from the group and are most of the time regarded as the lighting factor due to their associated chatty nature. Ambiverts lie somewhere between the extroverted and introverted personality types, showing tendencies of both groups when it comes to socializing.

 Shyness is not restricted to any personality type, though it is mainly associated with introverts.  Extroverts too may be shy, and it is just a response to being in an unfamiliar environment. One way to overcome your shyness and make friends on campus is to know your personality type and appreciate it. It goes a long way in helping you be comfortable with who you are.

  • Try And Connect With Your Classmates

If you want to socialize and shed off that shy guy or lady tag, then start with those close to you. In the college setting, they are none other than your classmates. As you have a lot in common, it is easy for you to establish a rapport amongst each other and form a durable friendship.

In the class setting, it is easy for you to meet up, and your friendship comes with a lot of benefits to all involved.  They can give you alerts on class schedules, and also help you with classwork. The good thing is that you may help each other well into your professional lives as you are pursuing almost the same career.

 

  • Be Calm With Your Roommates

Still, on establishing ties with those close to you, keep your roommates proximal to you. You may find yourself in a situation where you are sharing your residential unit, be it within or out of campus. Sharing a room gives you a touch of proximity to each other, and you need to take advantage of such a setting to make them close to you. Aside from class, your room is most probably the other area you spend most of your time.

If it is the same thing with your roommate, then you should be cool to them as they can help you overcome your socializing incapabilities. Such relationships may as well extend far beyond the confines of your college and be close acquaintances once done with school.

 

  • Keep Your Ear On The Ground For Events

One way you may try to be social is being where there is a suitable platform for you to get interactive. Such platforms may come in the form of events. Colleges are the home for a variety of activities, and you may hope to a handful of them to help you try killing off your shyness.

The move to make is to look for events focusing on subjects that you have an interest in. In such a scenario, you are able to meet like-minded individuals that can get you in a chatting mode as you discuss the subject matter.

Be keen on sporting events, conferences, talks, forums, and exhibitions within your school and surrounding areas. The platforms also give you some off- time to think about other things other than classwork, which is good for your mental health.

 

  • Try Joining Clubs And Societies

Clubs and societies should feature top on your list if you want to make friends. Most colleges encourage the formation of such unions, and they help push for specific goals relevant to both students and the college fraternity as a whole.

Try looking for a club that serves your interests, and you are sure to meet friends with whom to share several ideas on various topics. The clubs also go a long way in establishing your smooth career path, with many having patrons who serve as your mentors.

There are also the fraternities and sororities, which are Greek Letter entities with several chapters across many universities in the country. They operate as brotherhoods or sisterhoods, respectively, and are known for their close-knit structure. When you join such societies, you are sure to meet friends who are more like your siblings due to the close bond you share at the societies’ houses.

Get a decent fraternity or sorority, and go through the joining rights and be initiated into one. Though, you need to know that some of the rights might cross the line and go to the extent of hazing or bullying.

  • Take Part In Meetups

 

Many meetups get organized in college regularly; they may be hikes, night outs, camps, parties, and other group activities. Try and take part in such fun activities, and you will get to meet up with several pals.

Aside from giving you the shove factor to socialize, they are also good ways to wind up after a long stay in school. It is an excellent energy outlet to help you clear your mind and get back in class in a refreshed mood. The more you attend, the more the chances you have of making friends and being less into the shy personality trait.

 

  • Focus On Your Personality Traits

At times the reason why you are not making friends aside from being shy is your other traits. You may have a hint of arrogance, disinterest, or even just an unfriendly outlook. In such a case, try and change your character. 

Try and look into yourself and even ask the few friends you have about your personality and what seems repulsive about you. The pointed factors should help you out to focus on yourself and help you be friendlier.  A smile is one welcoming trait that will endear you to them. 

Other traits to bank on include having a listening ear when your peers are talking. It shows how well mannered you are, especially if you do not interrupt when they are putting their thoughts across.

 

  • Find A Way To Communicate

Being shy is something that most of the time is hard to wish off. Once you understand your personality, the best thing to do is to look for a communication outlet. When talking about such outlets, you focus on the standout things you do. Here, you look at your hobbies or talents. If you are good at music, then you might come up with a few high notes and amaze people with your skills. 

The same also applies if you are good at writing where you come up with fabulous pieces and share them with your audience. The good thing with such talent showcases is that you may find other people in the same situation as you and also looking for such an outlet.

Such scenarios make the best friendships as you have a lot in common.

shaking hands

  • Acceptance As The Way To Move On

At times getting rid of your trait is hard, especially if you have had it since young. It means you are already adapted to the situation, and you know your way through. Here, acceptance is the way to go. If you try so hard to be social, yet it is not who you are, you may end trying to change yourself, which at times it is not advisable. If you try so hard, you may end up hurting your comfort.

If you accept yourself for whom you are, your peers will likewise do the same and get the friends you deserve.

Points To Note When Making Friends In College

Focusing on your shy personality, it may, at times, be hard to make friends when on campus. A situation of this sort is usually alarming to many, considering that as you age, your social skills might take a slump. Therefore, college presents the right environment to enjoy socializing before you get deep into your professional life.

As a shy student out to make friends keep a note of the following for you to get the best and long-lasting friendships.

 

  • Interests Do Matter

 

 When forming friendships, your interests do matter. For long-lasting associations, the stakes should be meaningful and able to connect you on a deeper level. The shared interests give you a level platform to come up with great ideas that may benefit you. 

If you have nothing in common, then there is a high chance that your friendship will wither out with time.

  • Never Rush 

Take your time to establish bonds, and at no time should you rush things out. Friendship is a crucial factor influencing the bearing of your life’s goals, and if you have the wrong friends, your goals may easily come crumbling down. Learn about your friends and take note of their behavior and determine if they are the company you want to keep.

  • Do Not Be Afraid To Say No

The word no is very underrated and can save you from a load of bad decisions when in school. You may come across friends who do not have your best intentions at heart. In such cases, a firm no goes a long way in maintaining your integrity. Walk out of such friendships the moment you feel you are not comfortable.

  • Do Not Strive To Fit In

Everyone is unique, and you should always be yourself and appreciate yourself. There are times you may find yourself in a clique where you are probably the different one. In this case, the best move is to stay true to you or move on. Do not try to fit in as it will be akin to selling off and buying into a deal that is not worth the payout.

  • Do Not Be Afraid Of Your Own Company

If making friends is hard, do not be afraid to be your companion. Though the lonely days may take a toll on you, it is way better than getting into rushed situations with perilous endings.

friends chatting

So, Is it Hard to Make Friends in College?

Friendships make the days in campus count and be more fun. It is the force behind several long-lasting relationships that stand the test of time, leading to productive associations. If you are shy, then making friends might be such a hassle. It directs us to the question: is it hard to make friends in college?

The answer is both positive and affirmative, depending on your personality and how much you want to be in friendship. If you are shy, above are some of the tips to bank on to make friends. Have the right attitude and join clubs as well as attend events to raise your socializing spirits. Go for the right friends that will be helpful to you and have the right influence on you in the achievement of your goals.

Check out our guide to the best sororities to join for unsure students.

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