Did you know that out of 10, 4 people consider themselves shy? Shyness is both inherent and can be attained through the environment you interact with daily. If you are shy it is not the end of the road because you can be able to overcome this trait. Shyness is predominant in people who have low self-esteem.

Why Are Some People Shy?

Different people will be shy because of different reasons. For example, a person can be shy because of their introverted temperament. Some people love their space and most of the time you won’t find them interacting with others. A common thing to find in these people is that they talk less with others. This leads them to be shy.

Another reason why some people may shy away from talking is when they don’t know how to react to situations at hand. For example, if there is a crowd that is paying attention to the person most likely they will not know how to act.

When you come into contact with a new environment you may shy away from talking. For example your first encounter in school, you may have found it difficult to talk with others. Meeting new people can lead to being shy and avoid talking.

People who have allowed fear to invade their minds and thoughts can also become shy when it comes to talking to people. When you allow negative thoughts to invade your mind you will always be worried about what say about you. You will also think of how others will perceive you when you talk and this may draw back your conversations.

Importance of Talking

How to be talkative in everyday life is very important because you can express your emotions and your views concerning things freely. Being able to talk with others improves our mental health and well-being. When you talk with other people you build trust and confidence with them which makes you comfortable around them.

Talking with others helps you find solutions to the problems that you may be having and this can help you a long way. Talking to others is also a therapy proven for reducing stress and anxiety.

In this guide, we will show you techniques of how to be talkative in everyday life when you are shy.

Techniques on How to Talk When You Are Shy

Prepare a Conversation Starter

When you are meeting new people or you are in a new environment it can be difficult to start a conversation especially when you are a shy person. You will find yourself avoiding people so that you don’t find yourself in a position where you have to talk.

When you are attending an event it is important to consider taking the time and prepare a conversation starter. This way you will be ready to communicate with anyone you meet. Understanding the event and what all is about is very important because you will know the kinds of conversation starters to prepare. For example, if you’re going to a wedding you can consider complimenting people about the dressing. When you do this you will be able to build up a conversation with the person you are talking to.

Use Open-Ended Questions

When you understand you are a shy person you should consider using open-ended questions while conversing with other people. This kind of conversation will allow the other person to talk and also expound on the answers they give. It is important to know what to ask so that you can be relevant to an individual. You can consider asking how the person is doing and you will get to know more about them from such a question. You will be comfortable in this position to talk and share your perspective concerning the conversation.


Smiling is another way to help you to keep the conversation going. A smile shows that you are welcoming. Nobody wants to converse with a person who is angry and unhappy. When you smile you are opening a room for people to come and converse with you. This means you don’t have to approach people because smiling makes you approachable and anyone can be able to talk to you easily. Smiling will do some magic on your behalf in conversations. This is because it is a body language that everyone can be able to see and perceive whether you are interested in conversations or not.

How to Be Talkative at College in Everyday Life When You’re Shy 2

Be a Good Listener

You will find that talkative people will always want to take the lead when it comes to talking. Remember in an event there will always be conversations from one end to the other. It is up to you to find out conversations that interest you and consider listening to them.

Being a good listener will help you think through concerning what is being talked about. From there you can be able to pick up things in your life or your experiences that you can add up to contribute to the conversations. You can also consider commenting using phrases if you have nothing to talk about. For example, you can use phrases like “That’s right!”

Practice What You Are Going To Say

This may make you look silly to people who are easy going and can talk to anyone. Practicing what you are going to say is one of the ways to get you to talk when you are a shy person. Consider writing down what you are going to say and then practice. What you write down will depend on where you are going. For example, if you are going to school your conversations will be about studies, exams, teachers and many other things which will be different when you are going to a party.

You can consider using a mirror or your sibling as you practice. Watch your body language and your tonal variation because this matters a lot. Practicing is important because it will help you to gain confidence and trust yourself when talking.

Consider Small Talks

When you have small talks with people you are able to know whether you are both on the same page. You will be able to know the interest of the other person and know whether you can sail with them in a conversation. You can ask a few questions and see their reactions as they talk to you.

Remember Past Conversation

Remembering past conversations is very important because you can follow up on something you talked about. Sometimes it can be hard to talk to people you already know due to one reason or another. When you have something you can recall concerning them you can consider asking them questions on how things have been. This way you will not have awkward moments with a person and you will pick up from where you left.

Concentrate on the Other Person

One of the reasons why an individual will be shy and avoid talking is when they start focusing on themselves. Most of the time, people will worry about what you are expected to say, how others will perceive you, and how you supposed to react to situations. This will make you have pressure while you are in an event and make you not enjoy the moment.

Instead of focusing on yourself so much, you can consider focusing on other people. See how they are conversing with others from how your body language to their facial expression. Be involved in their conversations so that you can be able to interject in the conversation in the best way to relate.

Talk about Something You Know

We fail in conversations when we talk about things we don’t have facts on. This way you will leave your conversations halfway because you don’t have anything left to say. It is important to consider what you are going to talk about so that you have what you need to know concerning the topic. This way you will be able to talk confidently concerning the topic at hand. If you do not have anything to say about a topic you can consider interjecting by using phrases such as, “you are right!”

Give Elaborate Answers

Shy people tend to answer questions through yes or no format. This kind of answer may put off the person conversing with you and get to talk with others. Being able to give elaborate responses will be able to take your conversation a notch higher. Consider sharing as much as you can concerning the topics being talked about. This way you will create room for conversation.

Talk about Things around You

When starting a conversation you can talk about the environment you are at. For example, you can give compliments on how the decor looks or how the chairs have been arranged. This way you are starting up a conversation that may end up creating more stories. Do not shy away from feeling awkward or irrelevant.

When you consider these techniques you will be able to talk with confidence and in comfort without shying away. Remember it requires you to take the initiative to overcome your shyness.

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